Againts My Twenties
I Ever heard about being twenties, make more mistakes, depressed, that bitch kind of love, getting dumped and many more.
And i think that those things hits me really-really hard Now. yea, i just an ordinary young and dumb individual whole lives like a trash now. and now, for being stupid like that, i only think about something. and i just asking myself, like, is it about word that called as happiness ? . But now, i know that its not just about that, its about what i am doing right now is it true or not.
Being twenties, and not ready at all. Being Scared of makes mistake. Or felling lonely. Maybe one of those is the matter. But yea i still not sure. However i love how i really care about my self. That seems so scary uh wkwk.
What I’ve been thinking now
About something that happen in my past, and everything there. I just feel sorry to myself. I just Feelin Bad and I don’t know how to manage it. Now when i meet someone or something, i just protect them. Makes everything or everyone never get my negative energy. Because lately i just realize that everything will came up with tears, emotion, and yea done i can’t even start again.
Pain, Past, Peacefully of loneliness.
For almost one year ago. I just did so many times until i realize, how hard life for everyone too. I just did so many things until I can’t even imagine about other people. Makes my self go forward and did so many mistakes. And its still running until now.
Its almost 3 month far away from January. Month of pain. My mind maybe looks like a roller coaster. Think something that never be ending. Do you even really seeing love in your life? at first i do. Nope. at first i think i did that. But now, i just realize love can be something that people think and feel if its doesn’t hurt, if its really came up with smile and tears of happiness. Like people who said falling in love and then makes their own happiness ever after. My question is, is it wrong if we can feel new positive things in a certain time? I mean, would it be a mistakes then? if the answer is No. The answers said that its just humanity, something that sounds like “ I like it, its really meaningful, but no more”. If its a mistakes, then i will stop here.
yet, another month of pain has not been found. Its wasn’t because there wasn’t another pain yet. But this always comes from the past, present, and maybe in the future. How did it always come? I don’t, maybe its just an karma that blow up again and again because of our mistakes. And I was tired of asking, so i just wanted to conclude that. Those who you think are hurting, then leave not only those who survive but who are also defended. If letting go is just difficult, then its better to leave everything go on their own way. Because this world is not just about how hurt you’re. And its never end. Tell me that I really stupid or hit me with something that makes me really hard to survive, because this lot of pain doesn’t get everything better. And Love? that i think its purely love because all of those pain?. I can’t even called something like that again.
So what is love, and what if love?
Do i can get something or anther again? or maybe on next level? i thinks its totally fine and enough rn. Now what i want to do is fight the past and all the traumas that loom over. When I’m going t meet someone that maybe would be nice to me. I’m just going to say
“Your really kind, i will repay your kindness without telling my pain, my felling, or my wish for the end.”
“Thankyou for being my fun part of my life.”
“And i think it will be the way to save everything in their own place until the end, no one will hurt.”
“I remain u, hahahhahah.”
Remembering people in such a good way is one way to break bad memory and live happily ever after. Like the drama ofc. Like people want to see from us. After those memory lane, i hope there was me that pass my story about Againts my Twenties.
